Wednesday, March 30

How Autonomic is Your Driving?

This morning I was driving home from getting a haircut; it was a beautiful sunny spring day and there wasn’t much traffic. I had turned up the radio because a song was on with a good beat and I was also thinking about a conversation I had with the lady who cut my hair. I guess I wasn’t really concentrating on my driving when all of a sudden I noticed that I was slowing down for a light that was turning red. The thought occurred to me that I hadn’t really consciously decided to respond to the changing light, my brain had just registered that I couldn’t make it through and told my foot to move to the brake and slow down at exactly the right rate so that I would stop just before the crosswalk. All this self-awareness was happening about half way through the stopping process.

Now my whole attention was on the driving and what must have happened inside my head at the instant that the light changed. I honestly didn’t consciously remember thinking about whether to slow down or to try and make it through the light – somewhere in my brain the decision was made to opt for slowing down. The moment was both fascinating and a little scary. What if my brain had made the wrong decision? How fast are these things processed? Would my attention have been fully diverted to the driving task at hand if there was some hesitation?

Our attention is always divided between several things at once, with one in the forefront and several others in the background. For example, when you’re sitting at your computer concentrating on reading something, you’re also aware of the sounds coming from the TV behind you, and from the wind blowing the trees outside your window and of the discomfort in your back from sitting in your chair incorrectly. Even while you’re concentrating on the computer screen, your brain is also monitoring what is on the TV and when something funny is said, your attention is shifted to the TV and you glance over.

The same thing is happening when you’re sitting in the left turn lane waiting for your chance to go. You’re talking on your cellphone, hitting the turn signal, turning the steering wheel, adjusting it as you make your turn, and operating the gas and brake alternately, maybe even listening to the radio and thinking about adjusting the delay time on your windshield wipers – all in the time span of three seconds.

So, if your brain can easily handle all these things at the same time, why all the controversy over cellphones and navigation screens in cars? I honestly am not sure how I feel about the whole thing. On the one hand, I am in awe at the number of simultaneous things that the human brain is capable of doing. However, it is easy to see that a Nav computer that forces you to take your eyes off the road is a formula for disaster. Cellphones on the other hand should be no problem in a car as long as they are hands-free with voice dialing. Unfortunately, few people have that capability yet, so they also force you to take your eyes off the road to read the tiny screen.

Maybe the solution is to just hibernate cryogenically for about 30 years or so until hands-free / voice-activated / intuitive technology is perfected. Then everyone on the road will be totally comfortable with all this high-tech stuff and will allocate the proper amount of attention to their driving and there won’t be so many things competing for cerebral priority.

Of course, when I get cryogenically thawed I won’t know how to operate anything at all. Or, since the thawing out process is not quite perfected yet, maybe the better alternative is to just escape from urban life and lead a Thoreau existence for the remainder of my days, letting other people grapple with all these problems while I’m off contemplating the flight characteristics of butterflies.

Monday, March 28

Is it Live or is it Digital?

We are rapidly approaching the point where you will not be able to tell the difference between what is real and what is not, at least when you turn on your TV or your computer. We all know it’s coming, but we don’t really want to think about it.

On the Tonight Show, they often show funny videos where they substitute another guy’s head on someone’s body doing something stupid for comic effect, often a political jab. These are really crude, quickly done and easily identified as constructs, which actually adds to the humor. At the opposite end of the spectrum, in the film “Simone” the director, played by Al Pacino, inherited a totally digitized actress, originally dubbed “Sim One” who he proceeded to turn into an onscreen star that the world thought was a real person. The futuristic software allowed Simone to say anything and do anything the director wanted her to do. She never got tired, never complained, and of course never appeared in public.

Making the leap from the crude constructs on the Tonight Show to the believable realism of Simone is an enormous technical challenge. We’re not talking here about the realistic animation you see in movies today; what we’re talking about here is a digital creation where you simply cannot tell that the performance on the screen wasn’t created by a real actor. It’s a bit like the famous
Turing intelligence test where you define intelligence by the computer’s ability to fool the human into thinking that they are talking to another human. This is of course much harder to create, requiring the programmer to generate all the visual clues, body language if you will, that we expect to see in a real person.

We can already digitally edit still photographs fairly easily using any number of low cost digital editing programs. Photoshop Elements is a perfect example. With a little practice, you can remove people from a picture, switch heads, change backgrounds, etc. and it would take an expert to tell that it’s a doctored photo.

So, what happens when we approach that milestone where a digital video can be edited to change someone’s identity, or the next step, create an entire persona from 1’s and 0’s? Will the lawyers append a legal disclaimer at the end of each movie saying in effect that you shouldn’t necessarily believe what you just saw?

Will there be cameos of dead actors appearing in new movie releases? Will we be able to watch new episodes of “The Ed Sullivan Show” with the Beatles playing new songs just written? How much will it cost to have yourself digitized and uploaded into the cast of the next “Cirque du Soleil?” How soon will performances tout the fact that they include real live people?

For all those people pulling their hair out today over Intellectual Property Rights in the digital age, you may want to consider hypnosis to kick that habit.

You are now entering, The Twilight Zone.

Sunday, March 20

True Story from the Future

Subject: diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. It's a lot cheaper than a doctor."

Although skeptical, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.

He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant with twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5 If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

The above is obviously a joke that someone sent me. I don't know where it came from, but it struck me as something that is going to happen before long. No question that a variety of self-diagnostic kiosks in drug stores will be commonplace before long - more elaborate than the blood pressure booths you see now. There is already talk of a home DNA kit - believe it.

With the rising cost of healthcare, home care is the next hot thing.

Wednesday, March 16

Conspiracy Theory

I suppose some may think that a form of paranoia is overtaking me, or that I am getting more easily annoyed as I get older. Chances are good that both are happening - let me explain. A couple years ago I bought a PVR (aka DVR or Tivo). Mine is from my satellite company, Dish Network. Works fine, never had a problem with it, love it.

But recently, I have noticed that the programming is getting out of sync with the clock, meaning that when I set my PVR to record a show, it often misses the last 30 seconds to 2 minutes of the show. This only happens when the show continues past the hour or the half-hour just a little. It’s just enough for you to miss the preview of the next episode, or even the conclusion of the show. Really annoying.

Why is this happening all of a sudden? I don’t remember having this problem until just a few months ago. Why would the networks start doing this? Certainly the way they sell commercials has changed, breaking up many of the ad time slots into short 5-15 second bursts of high volume intense messages. Who knows, maybe in time they will get even shorter, possibly just a subliminal blur of logos and product names that flows right into your cortex. But that’s probably not be related to my timing problem.

Here is where the paranoia comes in. Believe it or not I am starting to think that the networks are doing this intentionally, just to annoy me. I think that is it entirely possible that they have this plan where, for their most watched shows (and consequently their most lucrative ad time), they are intentionally running the shows past the hour so that I will be dissuaded from “Tivoing” that particular show and choose to watch it real time! Then I won’t miss the ending. and will be more likely to pay attention to at least some of their ads.

I suppose there could actually be some business reason that they are doing this, like the ad rates for the show I’m watching are higher than the next one coming up. Therefore they extend the show a couple minutes so they can cram in a couple more spots while people are glued to their sets. Makes you feel manipulated doesn’t it?

Well, I’m not going to give up! Even if I have to reprogram my shows manually to extend the time a few minutes into the next hour, or pause a live show for 15 minutes and then advance through the commercials.

The days of ad agencies forcing you to watch Immodium and Preparation H commercials at dinnertime are just about over, my friend. No wonder the networks are getting desperate.

Tuesday, March 15

Free WiFi Update

In recent posts I have commented about the growth of free WiFi, how important I think this trend is, and how I strongly feel that public internet access should be free. Well, I just ran across a website where a gifted and generous fellow has put together an entire site dedicated to helping people set up their own WiFi hotspot, include the free software to do it with!

To borrow my daughter's favorite expression, Awesome!

If more people follow this gentleman's lead, free WiFi will hit the tipping point and all the technologies that take advantage of WiFi will really take off. It will have an impact similar to the transition from dialup to Broadband.

Check it out: http://www.publicip.net/

Monday, March 7

Submit your Ideas

As an accompanyment to this blog, I am setting up a second discussion to encourage people to submit their ideas on what they would like to see the inventors and engineers of the world work on next. Take a look, think about all the technology in your life that is lacking, or annoying or maybe even infuriating. Then submit a suggestion for how it should be.

Go Here

Wednesday, March 2

New Sharper Image Must-Have

Got the new SI catalog in the mail yesterday and I couldn’t resist commenting on a cool new gadget they feature on the front cover.

It is the amazing “Treat and Train” Professional Dog Training System. Basically, it’s a whole system that includes a training manual, DVD, and here’s the best part: a small remote-controlled dog-treat dispenser that plugs into the wall in the room where your dog does all of his misbehaving.

The most impressive thing about this system is that the remote-controlled dispenser relieves you of that awful job of having to present your dog with a treat from your hand. Simply push the remote control, and a treat is dispensed along with a tone to alert Sparky that he has a reward. Incredible! Just think, no more worry about the little guy licking your hand. Heck, you don’t even need to approach him. Voilá, you can train your dog from your couch while you watch TV.

For only $169.95, you will save all the time it previously took to hand Sparky a treat when he was exhibiting good behavior. Of course, you do get the training manual and the DVD, so I guess you really only paid about $150 for the Pavlovian dispenser. Aside from the big question of whether the training system is effective, (you are actually the one getting trained in case you didn’t know) one has to wonder if Sparky will learn to love the dispenser more than you?

Whatever the answer, Sharper Image continues to deserve my highly revered #1 spot as
“the quintessential source for overpriced stuff you don’t need.” However, I think that in this case, they should also get honorable mention for “solving a problem that people don’t have.”

Hmm, I wonder if I could adapt the idea to work with my kids, maybe a remote-controlled auto-parenting cash dispenser linked to the completion of household chores. Or, now that more and more schools let you turn in your homework online, maybe this little private ATM machine could be linked to their schoolwork!!

Nah, they’d figure out a way to hack into it.