In the latest issue of Wired, there is a blurb about how traffic sucks. The author contends that the issue is not the number of vehicles on the roads, but the way people drive, stopping to gawk at something on the other side of the freeway, zooming all over the lanes to save 15 seconds on their drive to work, tailgating then hitting the brakes, etc. I had exactly the same thought years ago but I never could think of a practical solution.
Of course, lots of people have thought of a system of wires in the roads and a series of computers that take over control of your car, you know, science fiction stuff. Given the cost to install the wires all over the freeways and the number of lawyers it would take to indemnify the operators of the system, that doesn’t look likely in our lifetime. That's not even considering that all the cars allowed on the freeways would have to be new hybrid robotic types.
So, I came up with a ridiculously simple alternative.
How about calling down from the heavens a group of highly organized angels. We’ll call em “Traffic Angels.” These can be ex-accountants or actuarials or project planners; people who are highly detail-oriented introverted types who are good at numbers. They probably have nothing much to do in heaven anyway since the extroverts are always in the front of the room frantically waving their hands when the jobs get handed out.
All they have to do is take full control of all the vehicles in their region and get them to their destination safely. Piece of cake for anyone with superpowers. They would keep the drivers from changing lanes constantly, slowing down when there is a towtruck off to the side, almost missing their offramp and then careening over three lanes of traffic to get to it, cutting in and out of the carpool lane even when they are alone in the car, taking up every inch of the on ramp so they can force their way in as far ahead as possible, and most importantly, leaving a trail of accidents behind them because of their rude and obnoxious driving habits.
These TA’s, as we would call them, would eventually collaborate as they got used to their jobs and redirect people to other TA regions to even out the traffic. You would get so many credits per month to use then you really need to get to work quickly and the other times you would have a built-in excuse for why you were late. “The damn TA routed me through Burbank.”
Think about it. The roads would be able to handle a heck of a lot more traffic, millions of lives would be saved each year not just from the absence of freeway accidents, but also from the reduced stress of getting to work. You’d be able to relax, even take a nap during your drive to work, talk on the phone safely or work on your computer if you are a total type “A” person. It would be like having your own personal limo driver.
What else? Think of the money we would save just on traffic cones for the construction workers. Wouldn’t need em anymore. The sale (and theft) of GPS units would fall off of course. But you could still take yours to Italy when you go there on vacation. The TAs there would never agree on who got what region and it would never get off the ground, so to speak.
What else? Oh yeah, the GNP of the country would double in 6 months!
Posts
