Case Study

I was talking with a friend and his wife this past weekend and the subject got around to his elderly mother. Alice’s (not her real name) husband died a couple years ago and she is not doing too well living on her own; doesn’t go out much, has very few friends, doesn’t eat well because she doesn’t want to cook, lets things go around the house. She seems to be suffering from loneliness and a mild form of depression and has sort of withdrawn from the world. Her two kids live fairly close by and visit regularly and call her several times per week, but they are both worried about their mom living such a solitary life. The thing is, Alice is very healthy and able to do most things by herself and is adamant about remaining in her own home where she feels comfortable.

Old age can be a pretty depressing time if you don’t have any engaging activities to take your mind off the daily problems. What this woman needs is someone around to interact with and look out for her and basically motivate her to enjoy her life. She was left with a comfortable retirement income so she could afford to move into a senior facility for people who only need companionship and someone to cook their meals, help with the shopping, etc. My friend thinks that Alice would learn to enjoy it but is not prepared to force her into making the move. An alternative to moving her into one of these places might be for someone to visit daily, maybe just for 30 minutes or an hour – sort of like a friend who lives across the street. It would be nice if she lived in one of these enclosed condominiums where she would see people every day and make friends – more of a community atmosphere than what she has now living in a separate house on an urban street where neighbors don’t talk much.

Regarding the main subject of this Blog, there may be a couple of technology approaches that could improve the situation if Alice is willing to give them a try. One is a simple videophone. The children and even the grandchildren could schedule calls at different times in the week outside of their normal visits and give her a boost in this way. You can also tell a lot more about how a person is by seeing their facial expressions rather than just hearing their voice. Another might be to put in a computer that Alice could use to explore the world from her own home and even get involved in some forums, etc. She might be reminded of how much is really going on in the world versus just watching TV and worrying about imaginary problems. Of course, if she doesn’t want to bother with these pesky devices, that would obviously not be the solution.

I’m thinking that the best solution in this case is probably not technology but real time face-to-face human interaction. That is probably the only thing that is going to pull Alice out of her withdrawal and give her something to look forward to in her day. She will also feel a sort of accountability to these friends that will motivate her to attend to her appearance and her diet and get involved with things with her friends even if she is initially ambivalent towards them. This could improve Alice’s life dramatically. My recommendation in this case would be to find a senior residence facility where Alice can have her own comfortable apartment with a patio that opens up onto a communal area where she can make friends. A place where she can choose to make her own meals or go to the dining room if she wants. A place where there is a nurse on staff and dieticians and activity planners, etc. A place where Alice can embrace a new life.