Peer Pressure

Among my many neurotic behaviors, I get really annoyed when people use the restroom and don’t wash their hands. The thought of grabbing the door handle after the last guy who shook himself off and didn’t wash up, really turns me off. I start thinking how brainless the people are who design restrooms with doors that swing inward requiring a handle. At least if the door pushes outward, you can use your elbow or push on a part of the door that most people would not place their hand.

You’ve no doubt seen piles of paper next to the exit door where people carry out their paper towel to use to grab the door handle, or just to push the door with. Thoughtful proprietors provide a trash can right there for us neurotic people to toss the paper in after we've opened the door.

Granted, you can’t expect every establishment to be able to accommodate a door that opens out, or some arrangement where you don’t need a door at all (the ideal solution by the way), so what is the solution?

Being a techno nerd geek sort of guy, I of course came up with one. It’s very simple, you just leverage peer pressure. Peer pressure is an extremely powerful motivator. No one wants the whole bar to know that they didn’t wash their hands after using the restroom, right?

So, all you have to do is install some kind of system, maybe a series of sensors – proximity sensors, IR sensors, pressure sensors in the floor, whatever – that determine if you went to the sink and washed your hands before leaving. If you don’t, a strobe goes off above the door along with a “woop” sound or something else appropriate for the venue and the guy slinks back to his seat. After that no woman will go near him.

To protect your business from lawsuits brought by Neanderthals, you put a sign in the bathroom warning people that this establishment requires you to wash your hands before leaving, as a courtesy to other patrons – or else.

I’m telling you, the kind of people who insist on not washing their hands either will change their behavior or not return to your establishment. The place will get a reputation for caring about courtesy and cleanliness, word will spread, other places fill follow suit, the death toll from influenza will pummet.

I don’t think anyone has invented the technology to make this work yet, but it is certainly an interesting challenge, don’t you think?